Secrets
by tammy-loves-jerome
Summary: "Until fairly recently, Fabian had always liked going to boarding school. You had independence, great academics, and you got to live with your best friends. What wasn't to like, right? Right. Until you had a need to hide something from the people around you, and you see, that's where things could get very complicated at a boarding school." Ferome one-shot.


Until fairly recently, Fabian had always liked going to boarding school. You had independence, great academics, and you got to live with your best friends. What _wasn't _to like, right? Right. Until you had a need to hide something from the people around you, and you see, that's where things could get very complicated at a boarding school. Yes, you got to live with your friends. But those friends of yours had the tendency to not mind their own business, and yeah, Fabian was starting to really resent living in that kind of environment. It's not so much that he had a secret that he was afraid of getting out (it wasn't like he had told anyone or anything), it was more the fact that he was worried about _himself _giving something away.

When you'd lived with some of these people for over six years, they tended to know when something was up.

The main reason that Fabian didn't really want anyone to figure out his little secret was because, well, he wasn't sure that there was anything to be keeping secret at all. Maybe he was just misinterpreting things; maybe he was just overreacting. But Fabian did know one thing for sure, and that was that this little secret keeping business was taking a toll on his physical and mental capacity. Physically, he was drained – he kept tossing and turning every night with worry. Mentally, well. It's not like his schoolwork was suffering at all. It was more like he just felt like someone had grabbed a chunk out of his cerebral cortex. Probably a result of over-thinking, which ironically enough, was what was causing his lack of sleep.

Against his wishes, although understandably enough, people were constantly asking Fabian is he was okay. Whether it was just a halfhearted question from Amber or a meaningful look and a "_dude," _from Eddie, people were noticing that something was up.

That was why when Jerome plopped down randomly next to Fabian on the couch one day while he was chatting with Mara, Fabian wasn't at all surprised. If anything, he was a bit irritated.

"What do you want, Jerome?" Fabian asked tiredly, taking a bite out of his blueberry muffin from Trudy's most recent batch.

Jerome shrugged. "You seem off," he said bluntly. Fabian sighed heavily and gave the blonde boy a patronizing look. Mara shifted awkwardly as if she didn't really want to be a part of the conversation.

"I'm fine, I swear."

Jerome raised his eyebrows in speculation. Fabian really wished that Jerome wouldn't do that; it wasn't a flattering look. It made his forehead all crinkly and weird looking. Why mar that smooth, creamy skin?

"Come on, Fabe. I know we're not super close but I do care about your wellbeing," Jerome said, and Fabian could tell that he was being earnest. He still didn't want to talk about it though, so he stood up and walked away, leaving Jerome alone in the living room with Mara. It was kind of rude, but he really didn't owe Jerome Clarke, of all people, an explanation.

He had to admit, he didn't actually realize that Jerome cared enough to ask or even notice. It was kind of flattering, to be honest, despite all of the griping.

Ok, so maybe the reason that Fabian was so cold to Jerome was because his secret was partially linked directly to him. Maybe it kind of had to do with the fact that Fabian found Jerome to be immensely attractive. Irritating as well, but yeah, attractive all the same. Fabian didn't like Jerome's personality all that much, but boy, his icy blue eyes and fluffy blonde hair were gorgeous. And maybe Fabian had been thinking about Jerome a lot, or not so much just Jerome himself, so much as what he would like to do _with _Jerome. Fabian would flush bright red just thinking about it. He was also pretty sure that Jerome had caught him staring more than once and had just be kind enough to let it go, or oblivious enough to not have made an actual connection. Fabian hoped that it was the latter.

But the thing was, Jerome was the first male that Fabian had ever found himself attracted to. That was one of the main reasons why he didn't want to ask anybody for advice; because he wasn't sure that it was even a big deal.

But deep down, Fabian knew that it _was _in fact a big deal. A very big deal indeed, especially considering Jerome's tendency to use a person's weaknesses against them.

Realizing that he would have to tell somebody eventually, Fabian sighed and closed his chemistry textbook. "Eddie," he called to the other side of the room, "I have a question." He chewed on his lip nervously.

Eddie pulled his headphones out of his ears and said, "Yeah? Is it about why you've been acting a little weird?"

Fabian fidgeted slightly. "Well," he started, "I like this person. They live in the house. And I'm afraid that people might judge me if they find out that I like this person. What should I do?"

"Is it Patricia?!" Eddie demanded angrily, standing up suddenly from his bed.

"What? No!" Fabian exclaimed. He rubbed his temples.

"Oh, ok." Eddie visibly relaxed and smiled at Fabian. "Look, dude. Nobody is gonna judge you. We're all friends here!"

"Yeah, but it's not what you think," Fabian replied. "I mean, it's not _normal_."

Eddie shrugged. "Maybe you should talk to Jerry. He's pretty good with the ladies, I hear," he said, and walked out of the room, most likely to make himself a snack.

Fabian groaned loudly and buried his face in his pillow. He shouted a few muffled swear words into the cushiony mass. The universe was clearly out to get him.

After dinner that night, when Fabian was reading on the couch in the living room, Jerome tried to talk to him again.

"Hey, Fabian," Jerome said with unusual warmth in his voice. Fabian looked up to see Jerome smiling at him. "I realized that the reason you very rudely left me in the middle of a conversation was probably because Mara was there and you didn't want her to hear."

Fabian heaved a sigh. It seemed like he was doing a lot of that lately. "Jerome...I just…that's not why," he replied, exasperated by Jerome's inability to let something go.

Jerome's confident smile faltered. "Oh, come on," he prodded.

"Why are you so interested?" Fabian snapped. Probably not a good idea, seeing as his goal here was not to get Jerome to hate him.

Jerome shrugged. "I don't like seeing you upset," he said plainly. "Is it school? Is it too hard?" he asked.

Fabian snorted. "No, Jerome, it's not school. School and the work that goes along with it are fine."

"Oh," Jerome replied. "Is it girl troubles?" Fabian looked up into Jerome's eyes, and then back down at the book in his lap.

"No." The bluntness of Fabian's answer set something off in Jerome's mind.

"Boy troubles?" Jerome's voice was barely above a whisper. Fabian's head shot up. His mouth was open, but no sound came out. He began to blush bright red. He could feel the heat in his face building up. It was then that he realized that Jerome had indeed noticed the staring.

"Um…wha…wha," was all he could get out. Jerome was almost smiling, the corners of his mouth quirking up just a tad. He watched Fabian intently. "I don't like…I mean I'm not…that's ridiculous, why would I…I'm uh," Fabian cleared his throat, "I'm not gay." It sounded more like a question than a statement.

"Oh. Okay," Jerome said, but Fabian could tell that he had been caught out. "If you want to have a real conversation, you know where to find me," Jerome said with finality.

He stood up and started to walk away. Suddenly he stopped and turned around. "Er, uh, fuck. I mean, I guess you don't always know where to find me. I mean like I have a few different classes than you and, well. Whatever," he said awkwardly and shuffled away with much less confidence.

Fabian was pretty sure that he was going to pass out.

Either Jerome was going out of his way to be an asshole about the conversation, or he was just being ridiculously careless. At every opportunity he got, he would very lightly brush against Fabian, sending chills up his spine. And when Fabian would look over to glare, Jerome would have already continued walking as if nothing had happened. Fabian supposed that he could be making it up, but it seemed like the sort of thing that Jerome would do just to irritate him.

On the umpteenth time that Jerome brushed shoulders with Fabian in the school hallway, Fabian got fed up and quickly grabbed Jerome's bicep as he was walking away. Jerome spun around.

"Stop it, Jerome," Fabian demanded seriously. "This isn't funny at all." He was getting very fed up. Then something that Fabian hadn't expected to happen, happened.

Jerome _blushed_. Ever so slightly, though, pale pink blotches staining his fair skin. He looked down at his feet.

"Ok. Sorry," he apologized in a mumble and slouched away down the hall.

That night at dinner, when Fabian asked Jerome to 'please pass the salt," Jerome wouldn't meet his eye.

A week had passed since Jerome had even so much as looked at him, and Fabian was growing worried and upset. Maybe his tone had upset Jerome? Maybe Jerome felt bad for bothering Fabian? Either way, it was frustrating.

Fabian knocked tentatively on Jerome and Alfie's door before cracking it open a little bit, and when he heard no sign of protest, all the way. He cleared his throat. "Jerome," he said, and the blonde looked up from his video game. "Can I talk to you?"

Jerome nodded but didn't close his game. Fabian moved to sit next to Jerome on the bed. He opened his mouth to speak, but then looked over at Alfie, who was smiling obliviously at him.

"Alfie, get out," Jerome said suddenly. Alfie looked affronted.

"Fine," he huffed, and stomped out of the room, all but slamming the door.

Jerome turned to Fabian. He narrowed his eyes. "What?" he asked harshly. Fabian flinched.

"You're avoiding me," he said. It wasn't a question. "Don't try to deny it."

Jerome quirked an eyebrow. "I'm not denying it," he said, still playing the stupid game.

"Why, though?" Fabian asked, genuinely confused. "I don't get it. What did I do?"

Jerome sighed and closed the Gameboy. "Are you still not gay?" he asked.

Fabian blushed profusely. "I…uh…yes?" he stammered. Jerome rolled his eyes.

"Oh, Fabes," he said softly, looking directly into Fabian's eyes, "for someone who gets such good grades, you're a total moron."

Fabian opened his mouth to protest, but he was quickly silenced by Jerome's lips on his. Fabian made an '_mmph_' sound but didn't protest. Jerome's hand moved to cup the back of Fabian's neck as if to try and pull him closer, which really wasn't possible at that point.

Fabian pulled away, and touched his lips with his fingers. He looked up at Jerome who looked extremely flustered and pink, but altogether pleased with himself. Suddenly, Fabian felt extremely angry. "So you bombard me with questions, harass me, ignore me for a week, call me a moron, and then _kiss _me? What the hell?!" he exclaimed angrily, shoving Jerome's shoulders hard enough for Jerome to fall back onto his elbows.

Fabian made to stand up, but Jerome quickly grabbed his wrist. "I didn't mean to harass you," he said quietly. "It was just that, well, you basically confirmed that you liked me when we were speaking that one night," he smirked. "I was just trying to get your attention, that's all. And then you got angry at me and I didn't want to upset you any more so I just sort of…stopped talking to you."

"Why didn't you tell me that you liked me as well, you asshole?!" Fabian demanded, his voice slightly shrill.

"You didn't outright tell me that you liked me either," Jerome said pointedly. "I had to deduce it from your awkward stuttering and constant staring at my ass." He grinned.

Fabian's cheeks reddened to a deep scarlet color. "I didn't even know that you were gay," he said.

"Why would you? It's not like I go around advertising it. I'm not an idiot; I know how to keep a secret." Jerome looked down at his feet, as if he was suddenly ashamed. "Do you hate me?" he asked.

"Sometimes," Fabian joked. Jerome grinned at him and wrapped his arms around Fabian's waist.

"C'mere," Jerome said, and leaned down to kiss Fabian once more. Their lips met gently, and Fabian snaked his hands around Jerome's neck, and tangled his hands in his soft, blonde hair.

"I totally called it," came Eddie's voice from the doorway. Fabian and Jerome broke apart suddenly to see Alfie handing Eddie a ten pound note.

Alfie shook his head. "Damn you, Eddie!"

Jerome coughed loudly. "Do you mind?" Alfie and Eddie smirked at each other and closed the door.

Come to think of it, Fabian had never been very good at keeping secrets anyway.

* * *

_**Thanks for reading! Reviews are always welcome!**_


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